:: The Bitch Girls ::

:: Monday, November 25, 2002 ::

More Birthdays I didn't think that I would blog about a birthday that's making headlines today. In thinking about my own birthday plans, I've decided to give the girls some advice. My own 21st wasn't long ago, and I think I even recall a few minutes of the celebration.

To start, celebrate on your 21st. Don't wait. I had to wait about 2 weeks before I finally had the time to celebrate with friends. (It doesn't help that all of my legal friends were living in DC at the time.) So on the first night of CPAC, after having being forced to smile all day long, I only ate a cup of soup. Not smart. Eat a real meal girls. It's only around 5:30 where you are, so start eating. I went out with my friends to some bar in the Arlington area with a small parking lot and pool tables. That is all I remember, I swear. I think I vaguely remember glass doors. I may be mistaken. But on with the story! Based on the bill my friends found the next day (thanks ladies for treating me!), I had 3 Long Island iced teas, 2 screaming nazis, 1 sex on the beach, 2 beers and half a glass of water. Oh yeah, and I get car sick easily. So in my not so sober state, I was polite and offered the front seat to a friend. Yeah, bad move. Does northern Virginia spend any money on roadwork? I'm thinking not! We went to some guy's house. I think his name was Jeff. I don't actually remember this part that well. I think I passed out on the couch for about an hour. I remember waking up, deciding that I was going to be sick and calmly walking to the bathroom. My friends said that I was the most polite drunk they've ever seen. I held my own hair back and even cleaned the guy's bathroom while I was in there. I apologized several times. Learn a lesson here girls. Be polite drunks.

Amazingly, the next morning, with only 1 hour and 35 minutes of sleep (the amount of sleep I got after I was done in the restroom), I was able to get up, look quite polished and be nice to people for another 14 hours. My advice in the end? When drinking heavily, get sick. It only lasts for a few minutes, and it means less alcohol in your system when you wake up. So drink up girls! Oh yeah, make sure there are no cameras around. Only your closest friends should see you that drunk.

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:: Bitter 6:38 PM [+] ::
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